


Trophies Beyond Countable Measure

by serenesavagery (windrunnerdreamer)



Series: Adolin Speardancer and Kaladin Kholin [16]
Category: Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: BAMF Kaladin, Gen, People get roasted, Sassy, Snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:02:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23488777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windrunnerdreamer/pseuds/serenesavagery
Summary: The only time Dalinar ever felt exasperated with Jasnah would be when seeing exactly what she had taught his son to do -humiliate people beyond shame.
Relationships: Kaladin & Dalinar Kholin, Shallan Davar & Kaladin & Adolin Kholin, Shallan Davar/Kaladin
Series: Adolin Speardancer and Kaladin Kholin [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1527470
Comments: 12
Kudos: 30





	Trophies Beyond Countable Measure

Kaladin stared at Vamah, at whose feet angerspren were boiling. 

"Well, Father. Why didn't you say you needed an eel to intimidate a piece of colorful, particularly thick mud?" Kaladin said conversationally, looking at his father. 

Dalinar did not look impressed. "You were the one who asked why I tolerated Sadeas." 

"Yes. And I understand your reasons. But still, that one is a pathetic piece of mud who thinks talking about people behind their backs is a very powerful maneuver, highprince or not." Kaladin said, dryly. 

Dalinar bit on his lip to stop himself from groaning, before pinching the bridge of his nose. 

* * *

Sadeas smirked. "The older, is you in the flesh. But the other one, the invalid? Did you see how useless-" 

Before Dalinar could blink, a giant Shardblade coalesced in Kaladin's hand and was dangerously close to Sadeas' throat. 

Elhokar straightened up, blinking and Renarin backed up, eyes wide.

Wit clapped his hands and then sobered up when Dalinar glared at him. 

"If you _speak_ a word more, I will throw your body into a pile of filth, which is far more than what you deserve for being such a blasted hypocrite." Kaladin hissed, glaring at Sadeas. 

"Are you really one to talk about being useless? You don't even have the required _parts_ to run into the chasmfiend to confront it, and you stood behind, quivering like a storming leaf- but I suppose it's the soft fools in silk who think they can run their mouths off." He growled, pushing the Shardblade closer. 

"Kaladin, enough! I will handle this!" Dalinar said, shaking his head. 

Kaladin ignored him. 

" _Kaladin_ -" 

"Your insult _demands_ we spill your blood in the name of honor. That would require shattering the Vengeance Pact and that would be your _stupidest_ act yet. Either shut your mouth, or _I_ cut it off for you. Do I make myself _clear_?" Kaladin snarled, pushing the Shardblade closer. 

Sadeas nodded quickly, fearspren appearing behind him. 

"Good." Kaladin muttered, his Shardblade vaporizing.

"I suppose that is that." Elhokar said, swallowing.

"What were you thinking? You just threatened a Highprince with bodily harm!" Dalinar growled at Kaladin, when they were alone. 

The young man only stared at the walls sideways. 

"The insult he made would _require_ us to duel him and shed his blood. And that would shatter the Vengeance Pact as I said. I only gave him a little glimpse of what that would be like." Kaladin said coolly, leaning against the wall. 

Dalinar was ready to hang himself at this point. He only groaned, rubbing his forehead. 

"It will be easy for him to act against us!" 

"And who is to argue when we say he provoked us by insulting the honor of one of the members of our house, Father?" Kaladin asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Dalinar narrowed his eyes. "Count yourself lucky this time, young man. I won't have you running off like a hot blooded axehound next time." 

"Technically speaking, I didn't run off. I just brought out Windrunner."

Dalinar exhaled, willing himself not to shake the exasperating young man. "It is precisely because you do the same mistakes I made in my youth is that I am worried." 

"Was that a mistake, Father? Or simply a mere reminder of what is at stake here?" 

Dalinar threw up his hands. "I simply _give_ up. There has not been a _single_ man, _or_ a woman save for Jasnah, that has won an argument with you and it is highly unlikely that I will be the one to do so." 

Kaladin just shrugged, but a small smirk danced at the edge of his lips. 

* * *

"Well, Prince Kaladin. A pleasure seeing you here." 

"I'll take your compliments with a pinch of salt, Wit, if you'll excuse my scepticism." Kaladin said, looking at the man warily. 

Wit grinned. "On the contrary, I do genuinely compliment you for having nearly rid the world of Brightlord Sadeas." 

"You should probably insult me for that one, Wit. Not compliment. Besides, complimenting a man for getting rid of someone is actually rather reprehensible, don't you think?" Kaladin said dryly. 

Wit smiled. "I'll agree. But do you think Sadeas counts as someone?" 

"I think everyone counts as someone in their own way." 

Wit shook his head, springing back to his chair with a quick jump. "You're a strange one, Prince Kaladin!" 

Kaladin raised an eyebrow. "You're one to talk, Wit." 

"Very true!" Wit said, grinning. 

* * *

Adolin bit on his lip as Sadeas came into view. 

He then looked at Dalinar and Kaladin, and startled himself at the sight of the latter. 

Kaladin looked simply _furious,_ like a fiend, Adolin noted with trepidation. Angerspren were so in abundance at his feet that it looked as if his feet were bleeding. His blue eyes were _glowing_ with anger. 

It also didn't help that Kaladin's Shardplate was nothing but a sorry collection of broken fragments connected through simple strips of metal and that the uniform he was wearing was also ripped. 

Needless to say, the dignified prince Adolin had seen was now nothing more than a wild, furious beast. 

" _Sadeas_!" The prince roared, with such anger in his words and slamming the ground with the butt of his spear with such a force that Adolin jumped. 

Even Dalinar looked at his son warily. 

Sadeas turned back, and much to Adolin's surprise, the man's eyes were uncertain and his knuckles were white. 

_He's scared of the princeling,_ Adolin realized. 

"You _storming traitor_!" Kaladin screamed, pointing his spear at the highprince. 

That...was one way to put it, alright. 

"Prince Kaladin, I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about." Sadeas called out, calmly. 

Kaladin snarled, his lips curling into a sneer which was so contemptuous that Adolin couldn't find it in himself to look at it for too long. 

" _Liar_. Your capacity for lies has stripped you of any honor you pretended to possess, so _stop_ pretending as if you have any already." 

Adolin turned back to look at his men, who were white in the face from having looked at Kaladin. 

"Enough, Kaladin. I will handle this." Dalinar said, calmly placing a hand on his son's shoulder. 

Kaladin stared at his father. 

"I know you do not trust me. And I understand. But Kaladin, I will handle this. For far too long, you've been carrying the burdens of our honor, son. Will you let me do so, now?" Dalinar asked gently. 

Kaladin trembled, through from whether it was due to anger or something else, Adolin did not know. 

He would go with something else. 

"Son, please." 

Kaladin exhaled and it was a ragged, shuddering breath, before nodding once, turning back to look at his younger brother. 

The change that now crossed his face took Adolin by surprise. 

His features considerably softened, and he smiled ruefully. Renarin took his hand and clasped it. 

_Huh._

* * *

"Can't you even make sure to ask me before you tried talking to her?!" Danlan raged, and Renarin was enjoying watching this too much for his own good. 

Kaladin pinched the bridge of his nose, glaring at her. "Well, that's rather unfortunate, Danlan- I kind of thought that this was a relationship between two human beings, not that of a chull and his owner." He said coldly, and Renarin winced. 

His brother should probably not have said that. 

"I didn't even, oh Almighty- it always has to be about the storming technicalities with you, _doesn't_ it?" Danlan screamed, and Kaladin only looked close to banging his head on the wall. 

"It's not even about the technicalities- it's about possessing the basic level of common sense a person is supposed to have. All I did was just ask her about the ardentia meeting! Are you seriously hauling me over the coals for something so simple?" Kaladin asked, groaning. 

"I was _right_ there, what do you think people would think if you can't ask me and you go around asking other people?!" 

"I already apologized but clearly you need to get your ears checked if you didn't register them, that or you need to look up in the dictionary as to what an apology exactly entails!" 

Renarin winced again. Oh dear. Here it was- 

Kaladin only just clicked his tongue, and Renarin bit on his lip, as his brother shook his head and walked away. 

Well. No one had exactly described his brother to be the best at talking to women. 

Or talking, really. 

At least his brother didn't get slapped this time for insulting a woman. 

* * *

Adolin blinked. He had not expected the king to be so....

 _Whiny_. 

And it was clearly getting on Kaladin's nerves. 

"Elhokar." Kaladin called, and the talking quickly ceased to a minimum, reduced to silence. 

Elhokar only looked at his cousin with trepidation. 

"Your part in the plan will be not to complain. I understand that's difficult for you, but understand that if you do so, it'll only provoke one of us into stringing you over a cliff and by one of us, I mean myself." Kaladin said slowly, his eyes on Elhokar during this rather aggressive monologue. 

Elhokar shook his head. "Don't you think we should discuss exactly what can go wrong-" 

"And if we do that, we're just going to end up not doing anything at all and being reduced to clucking chickens, one of which I'm talking to right now." Kaladin said dryly. 

Elhokar only groaned, resting his forehead on the table. 

_Did he seriously just call the king of the most powerful kingdom of east Roshar a chicken?_ Adolin wondered, shaking his head. 

Granted, Elhokar wasn't the most impressive king Adolin had seen and that Kaladin was said king's cousin, but still. Propriety and social norms had to be respected...right? 

Dalinar and Brightlady Navani exchanged a look. 

"Father, you were saying?" Kaladin asked, raising an eyebrow. 

_The prince sure has an insolent tongue,_ Adolin noted absently, leaning against the wall with one leg backed up. 

* * *

Kaladin inhaled and cleared his throat, silencing the hall that had just been interrogating Shallan about the betrothal. 

She could see Jasnah's poise and confidence in this man, and it was...oh, storms, she didn't have the words to describe this...immovable force of nature. 

_No. Not confidence,_ Shallan realized, as she saw Kaladin's narrowed eyes. 

_Arrogance. But not one that's making him go way over his own head._

"If any of you would like to discuss about the betrothal, you are always welcome to discuss about it with _me_. Not to the woman who just got here and is probably bewildered at how uncannily similar your attitudes are to pigs that happen to be sighting a piece of meat." Kaladin said, leaning against his chair and meeting everyone's glares without turning a hair. 

_Oh, Vedeledev,_ Shallan thought, finding herself suddenly breathless. She couldn't help it- she giggled into her safehand as she saw the scandalized glares the brightlords and brightladies sent Kaladin. 

Thankfully, no one saw her giggling save for King Elhokar, who just gave her a confused look, making her blush. 

"I believe, Prince Kaladin, despite his...remark, made a point. His betrothal is not what we are here to discuss about." Dalinar breathed out, staring pointedly at his son. 

Shallan would not have wanted to be on the receiving end of that glare, but Kaladin only met it coolly. 

_He's something else entirely._

* * *

_This,_ Shallan thought, _was not going to end well._

The tension between Amaram and Kaladin was easily palpable, and Shallan only blinked before Amaram let out a cry of pain. 

Kaladin had punched him, and judging by the way painspren were grabbing for his gloved fist, it had been a really painful one. 

Shallan gasped. 

" _Kaladin_!" Dalinar growled, but the prince did not heed him. 

" _That_ , was for my friend, Adolin Speardancer. A good man who you nearly sentenced to death for your own personal glory!" Kaladin hissed, eyes flashing. 

Amaram glared at Kaladin. "And what do you know of the affair?" 

" _Everything_ , you deceitful excuse of a man. Of course, it is so like you to inflate your head to the point you imagine glories for yourself and you revel in them. As if you weren't repugnant _before_." Kaladin said, glaring back. 

"How dare you-" Ialai hissed. 

"You already cast away your dignity and your own husband when you started plotting against my father, Brightness Ialai. Please don't reduce yourself to the level of a drunkard." Kaladin said, eyes on Amaram. 

"You are already casting away your own dignity, young Kaladin." Amaram said, narrowing his eyes. 

"Oh, how remiss of me not to remind you that you branded a man with _sas nahn_ because he refused to give you the Shards that _he_ won for protecting a waste of breath such as you." Kaladin hissed.

 _Did Adolin tell him all this? When they fell into the chasms?_ Shallan wondered, eyes wide. 

_And sas nahn?_ _If that was the case, I can see why Kaladin is so angry._

Amaram cringed as the watching soldiers gaped. 

"Do not push this, Prince." Amaram hissed. 

Kaladin scoffed. "Or what? You'll ram your Shardblade into me? Perhaps that's the only thing you can do considering your brain is no bigger than a speck of dust." He said, narrowing his eyes. 

Amaram grit his jaw and Kaladin smiled. 

"Considering it? Well, I would like to see you try. I _really_ would." Kaladin murmured, hand reaching out for his Shardblade. 

Amaram stared at the Sylblade before exhaling and walking off. 

Shallan stared at Kaladin, who shrugged a shoulder before the Sylblade disappeared. 

"Thanks, Syl." He muttered with a, honestly, beautiful smile and Sylphrena popped into existence, flying around with glee. 

"I don't like that man." Syl said, eyeing Amaram distastefully. 

"I can't think of anyone who would. And that's not a man, Syl. That's just a practice dummy." Kaladin said, shaking his head. 

Syl blinked. "Really? I was under the impression practice dummies were more wooden..." 

Dalinar groaned while Shallan found herself laughing. 

* * *

_**Outtake:** _

"You punched Amaram." Jasnah asked, gaze approving. 

Kaladin nodded, rubbing his fist. "Yeah. I washed my fist later, though." 

Jasnah nodded. "A wise decision. Even attacking filth deserves cleaning up." 

* * *

_**Outtake 2:** _

"Jasnah, of all the things you could have encouraged in Kaladin, it _had_ to be the tongue?" Dalinar asked, all sufferingly. 

Jasnah cocked her head. "I did not encourage it so much as gently nudge him in that direction. Why, what did he do?" 

Dalinar pinched the bridge of his nose. "He punched Amaram." 

Jasnah frowned. "Uncle, that is of hardly any consequence." 

Dalinar groaned. " _Jasnah_." 

"What?" 

* * *

_**Outtake 3:** _

"Do you know that Kaladin punched Amaram for you?" Shallan asked, watching Adolin in interest. 

Adolin spat out the wine he was drinking. " _What_?" He choked out, Shallan patting him on the back. 

He stared at Kaladin, who was talking to a guard. 

"Please tell me you took a Memory of the whole thing." Adolin said, voice hoarse as he shook his head, breathing heavily. 

Shallan grinned. "Of course." 

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Well. It wouldn't get out of my brain, and besides. Who doesn't want to see Amaram getting the roasting of his life?  
> Also, this helped me fight writer's block, which is a BITCH. I really need to work on that Shalladin AU, it's tough having so many ideas LMAOOO.
> 
> Kaladin asked a woman about the ardentia meeting because he wanted to talk to Kadash about persuading the ardentia not to hassle Renarin, by the way.


End file.
